by Geena Hui
My story with God began when Beautiful Saviour (by Planetshakers) overwhelmed me with an insuperable wave of emotions after the first school chapel of the year in January 2010 (Secondary 2). The lyrics of the song struck and pierced me with an acuteness comparable to that of an x-ray on the same evening. I started crying and broke down all of a sudden while singing the song. I was genuinely confused, as usual-.I could not comprehend the emotions that had hitherto arrested me and held me hostage. Hence confided in my close friend, who happens to be a Christian since I came from a Christian school, asking if these wave of emotions (which I now recognize as God touching my heart/soul) was really from God. Eventually, I confided in a few friends and told them about this mini spiritual encounter and being from a Christian school, I started paying more attention to morning devotions and chapel services..
The next month, another Christian friend of mine took a leap of faith, stepped out of her comfort zone and invited me to her church. She drew an illustration of humans (us) standing on a cliff and God standing on another cliff, with something in the middle, which I cannot remember. She was telling me something about eternal life but I did not really take it very seriously back then. Christianity was merely an arcane concept for a new believer like me. Thus I just followed through the motions of what was expected of me and recited the sinner’s prayer with her. It was not until April 2010 that I accepted Christ formally. However, even though God became a more tangible and preeminent figure in my life, I did not seek Him nor spend as much time with Him as I do now. I only knew about the subtle, obscure concepts that did not fully require my coming to terms with; concepts that I was contented to leave as head knowledge, such as casting my anxieties on God.
In December 2012, my cousin, Zann invited me to her church (or my church now, hehe) for their annual Christmas concert, but I turned her down since I was immensely shy and admittedly afraid. Coming from a non-Christian family, I lacked the courage to ask for my parents’ consent to go to church on a regular basis. Being the only Christian in my family, I felt incredibly alone and stifled, repressed by my fears of challenging the status quo and consequently upsetting the balance of peace that had been its product. Thankfully, her persistence encouraged me to throw my plaguing fears to the wind: I staked status quo for a leap of faith out of my comfort zone in January 2013 in order to experience God so tangibly. Most importantly, in exchange for boldness, He gave me community. If she had given up after failing to invite me on a few occasions, I would still have been lost in the wilderness – an easy prey for the vastness of the world; a prey which is not only deficient in weapons for self-defence but is also deficient in an identity to call its own - a mere victim to conformity. My parents did support my decision in Christianity eventually when they saw me doing quiet time in the study in the wee hours of the night and when I regularly attended church and cell, which made me immensely happy. I did not have to hide the things I truly love and believe in. I had the chance to go deeper into this faith/love I have; I could discard my fears.
There is one thing I have realised through walking with God this year. Whenever something terrible happens, He never fails to make it better again by giving me more than what I have expected. It is as simple as blessing me with beautiful scenery, simple accomplishments, hearty conversations with people, or even a word that relates to the current situation I’m in. Every time I falter and totter off the path that has been set before me, the abundance of His grace and love exceeds what I deserve. Through everything, I have learnt to place my trust in Him, allowing my faith to be bigger than my countless fears.
The next month, another Christian friend of mine took a leap of faith, stepped out of her comfort zone and invited me to her church. She drew an illustration of humans (us) standing on a cliff and God standing on another cliff, with something in the middle, which I cannot remember. She was telling me something about eternal life but I did not really take it very seriously back then. Christianity was merely an arcane concept for a new believer like me. Thus I just followed through the motions of what was expected of me and recited the sinner’s prayer with her. It was not until April 2010 that I accepted Christ formally. However, even though God became a more tangible and preeminent figure in my life, I did not seek Him nor spend as much time with Him as I do now. I only knew about the subtle, obscure concepts that did not fully require my coming to terms with; concepts that I was contented to leave as head knowledge, such as casting my anxieties on God.
In December 2012, my cousin, Zann invited me to her church (or my church now, hehe) for their annual Christmas concert, but I turned her down since I was immensely shy and admittedly afraid. Coming from a non-Christian family, I lacked the courage to ask for my parents’ consent to go to church on a regular basis. Being the only Christian in my family, I felt incredibly alone and stifled, repressed by my fears of challenging the status quo and consequently upsetting the balance of peace that had been its product. Thankfully, her persistence encouraged me to throw my plaguing fears to the wind: I staked status quo for a leap of faith out of my comfort zone in January 2013 in order to experience God so tangibly. Most importantly, in exchange for boldness, He gave me community. If she had given up after failing to invite me on a few occasions, I would still have been lost in the wilderness – an easy prey for the vastness of the world; a prey which is not only deficient in weapons for self-defence but is also deficient in an identity to call its own - a mere victim to conformity. My parents did support my decision in Christianity eventually when they saw me doing quiet time in the study in the wee hours of the night and when I regularly attended church and cell, which made me immensely happy. I did not have to hide the things I truly love and believe in. I had the chance to go deeper into this faith/love I have; I could discard my fears.
There is one thing I have realised through walking with God this year. Whenever something terrible happens, He never fails to make it better again by giving me more than what I have expected. It is as simple as blessing me with beautiful scenery, simple accomplishments, hearty conversations with people, or even a word that relates to the current situation I’m in. Every time I falter and totter off the path that has been set before me, the abundance of His grace and love exceeds what I deserve. Through everything, I have learnt to place my trust in Him, allowing my faith to be bigger than my countless fears.
I have learnt how to be bold, to stay strong through different weathers, and to love every situation thrown at me, for I truly believe that challenges can only firm up our faith in Jesus, making us much stronger beings.
My testimony sounds typical- an orthodox path of the Christian walk with God. In spite of this, it is incontrovertible that everyone will have different encounters that are unique to them and help them internalise God beyond the impersonal arbiter of fate, right?
Someone did pray for me about God’s love encompassing my life and how I should always rely on God through every situation. I just hope that everyone will always return to the fundamentals – to remember about God as their first love, as love Himself (1 John 4:8), and as a munificent source of strength that empowers, because “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This was and still remains up till today how God has demonstrates His own love for us (Romans 5:8).
Someone did pray for me about God’s love encompassing my life and how I should always rely on God through every situation. I just hope that everyone will always return to the fundamentals – to remember about God as their first love, as love Himself (1 John 4:8), and as a munificent source of strength that empowers, because “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This was and still remains up till today how God has demonstrates His own love for us (Romans 5:8).